It’s been a while

Dear humans,

You guys need to grow the fuck up. You are all star matter and right now the only thing you all are doing is seeing which one of you can burn out the fastest. You have become reliant on how much attention you get that it sickens me to the bone. You are all so in tune with which celebrity did what and what dick Tina sucked last night, like you weren’t balls deep yourself. Oh, you think that my language and brutal honesty is offensive? since when was a star a little pussy who can’t handle words that come out of someone’s mouth, unless of course it’s on how great your fake tits look, naturally.

And the more I think of the actions that humans have decided to take, the more I truly just want to strangle some common sense into all of you. I hear of kids saying spirituality is just one big acid trip and others saying that if you’re not depressed or have anxiety then you’re not special enough. I hear of people getting their feelings hurt when a mom pulls out her tit to feed her seed yet there’s applause when a naked women shows up on the TV.

Now, I am not completely sure, but from what I thought we weren’t supposed to be little girls running around with our heads cut off and we sure as hell weren’t supposed to hurt each other’s feelings every second of every damn day. I am so purely disgusted in all of you.

 

So mind y’alls damn business, quit getting sensitive that Billy is gay and that Gina wants to be a slut, let them fucking be, because at least they are doing what the fuck they want instead of trying to closely follow what this society deems normal. And if you must do that, at least just criticize yourself with how many shallow people follow you and your eyebrows.

and on a side note, even though that mouth of yours judges to make yourself look better we all know that you’ve been deep throat champion since 2011. Continue reading

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Goodbye blue skies

Before I start, I want to note that everything in this post refers to the large amount of time I spent not blogging, which from experience, will never happen again.

If I were to have stayed I would’ve been awake.

I regret every second that I lay here in shame

The minutes turn to hours that turn to days, and I’m still here rotting away. I can’t find where the mistake was made and my bones are starting to shake, they’re hungry for something, anything! The most common thing that I think is, ‘what’s the point?’

That was me last week.

I’m tired of turning page after page and not watching any damn words, so I thought. But over time I learned to read, and what my eyes have seen now I must tell another soul, my brain now filled with wisdom and delight while the other day I was dreading life and avoiding the sunlight.

I must tell you all now there is no struggle to stay afloat, just a lesson, it’ll come your way. The lesson can not be re taught or written down or I’d give you all the key to life. No, this is something much greater than anything I have ever experienced, an epiphany at it’s best. There will be a morning when you wake up and you’re floating, you won’t know when why or how, you’ll just know that you’re there now. The ride was worth it, I’ll give you that, but my god man you could’ve cut me some slack. It’s been years since I felt the sunlight on my skin, oh how seducing it feels. I’m in a better spot, and I’ve learned what I needed. I’m facing the world now with my ammunition. I’ve had words upon words to cast out, but never silence, thought or concern. These feelings people speak of, they’re true that’s a fact, emotions will attack you faster than sound, faster than anything you can think of right now. This blog has no purpose, no meaning at all, unless you can feel the words I’ve put out. I know I’m not the only one out there, who was submerging so fast they didn’t even know, I know there’s people that have swam there from the top, for I am one. I made it through drugs through traveling broke, I’ve made it through strangers and the things they took. I’ve made it through death and I’ve seen the gift of life, I’ve made it there and all the way back. I know I’m not alone, just remember that now. No matter how far you go there’s always a way back.

No subject

I want to scream

But I have no voice

I’m trying to stay together, but I’m getting ripped apart

I’m trying to find peace in a war zone

a shelter in a storm. 

I’m trying for something more, and I don’t even know what exactly I’m trying for

My heart is falling out of my chest, squeezing through my ribs trying to rip through my skin, it’s trying to go back home, it’s trying to feel comfort again. 

I’m lost, where I thought I was found

happiness

You don’t go out searching for happiness, 

It’s not in money or in a person

and for some reason no one realizes that.

It’s not a goal to be reached nor a prize to be achieved, 

 

It’s realizing that nothing is ever perfect, and to just take the bad with the good. 

Realizing that everything will at one point pass, and that life is exactly what you make it. 

There will always be a flat tire at some point, but it’s up to you whether to fix it and keep driving, or get fed up and give up all together. 

The Adventure

I was lost In a place I thought I knew

And was found in a place I thought I would be lost.

There is no destined place for us to rest our weary heads, there is no purpose in our lives, unless we make one ourselves.

But, there is a place where we find comfort 

There is a place we would like to rest our weary heads. 

There is something that you find meaning in doing.

And once you find that you have to fight for it or you will never get it. The people who end up working a job to pay the bills, they gave up the fight.

Its an adventure, and quite frankly I enjoy the struggle to stay a float.

And in this world you either do or you don’t. 

I mean, what else are we doing here?

Just breathing and taking up space?

Sure, if that’s what you want your purpose to be.

But I’m going to fight, because everyone can breathe, and it takes someone strong to fight. 

The Road

I’ve always been the driver, never had a ton of time to stare out the Window and actually see what’s out there.

And I noticed how the shadows caressed the mountains, how the trees slowly danced with the wind to the melody of the nearby water. 

I noticed the people in other cars, and I saw a story behind each one, making me so curious as to what they’ve been through in their years.

so I asked a man what his thoughts were on life while we were stopped in Kansas, and he told me:

‘To be what we see perfection as, we must stop caring about what road we’re on, and just worry about who’s with us and what the final destination will be. ‘

His wife died while he was at work, and he had been at work the two days Prior to this event. He was a workaholic building his way up to his dream house and car. 

It doesn’t matter what you have if you don’t have anyone to share it with. 

Robin

Oh miss Robin

I will miss you, more than anything. 

Your words and your grace 

To your hands and your hair

I will hold you tight in my mind, the times we’ve been through, even the bad.

Oh miss Robin, when I get the means I will take you out of this place, I will show you more than the mountains and how easy it is to move them

I will show you the entire world, and then some. 

Oh miss Robin, I will be back for you, but until that day comes

I’ll be holding you tight, always in the back of my mind.  

is the grass really greener?

 Since I can remember

I’ve wanted to leave. Leave to anywhere but where I was. 

I’ve dreamed and made plans, never too serious to follow through, so I thought. 

Tomorrow I leave behind my life from day one, 

I’m leaving behind a family and a life long friend, all my encounters and memories, I’m leaving them thousands of miles behind. 

And I’ve never been scared until this day. 

Do tell me, 

is the grass really greener on the other side? Or is it just a different shade green that seems more appealing to us? 

Why, as humans, do we seek the greenest grass?

Is it just the thrill of trying to seek it out, or is it the curiosity of whether or not the grass is better just because of its shade?

To me, I’d like to think that as long as it’s not yellow, it’s better than nothing, but I’ve never experienced what the grass was really like on the other side. 

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is such a promising thing, it just starts over again and again, making us think we can do the same with our lives.

We can’t,

at least not in one day.

I’ve learned you can change anything you want, so long as you budget your time right.

I went from nothing with nowhere to put it, to everything with not enough room to put it all.

And I did that by trying to change it,

It blew my mind with how easy all of this was achievable.

Who knew swimming could be so easy.